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SELF - ABANDONMENT : What happens when you abandon yourself?


Self - abandonment has been one of the many hot topics on social media that we encounter today. Self Abandonment takes place in real time. This implies that we can be careless in our daily decisions. Some people may recognize their needs and desires in the moment, but choose to abandon or reject them, without considering other circumstances or the consequences of their actions.


What is SELF- ABANDONMENT?


Self - abandonment is a rejection of ones thought , feelings and needs. It is characterized by a refusal to perform fundamental self - care duties or to look after one's own needs.


This has been connected to one's childhood. Perhaps they were denied love and attention as children, leading them to believe they were undeserving of love. This resulted in a refusal to attend to their own needs when they become adults.


To further identify what is self - abandonment really means, lets discuss some manifestations that are present to most of those who experienced them.


  • NOT BELIEVING IN YOURSELF

I never saw myself or thought I could be a nurse practitioner , a

good wife , mother or friend . Then I realized I was only hurting

myself and depriving others of the help I could give.


  • NOT DEFENDING ONESELF

I am very bad at this. I have had a really bad habit of letting

people say or dump things in my lap that I should not have.

To put it bluntly ,I was being TOO nice . You can be nice and

stick up for yourself.

  • NOT LIVING UP TO YOUR IDEALS

Honestly, I am still working on this one, The truth is I have to

constantly align my ideals with who God says I am and not others.


  • SELF - CONDEMNATION

Ok, self guilt tripping , downing myself, and making myself feel

like crap. Yep, being there , However, I am reminded there is no

condemnation to those who love Jesus . His grace and love

gives me the power to see myself loved and valued . Self -

condemnation is the enemy's way telling saying you don't

have value . NOT TRUE!


  • PEOPLE PLEASING

Hmm, well done that one too . Still working at making sure what I

do for others is done with right heart and right spirit while not

allowing myself to be used or manipulated to do things that I really

do not want to do. Ask yourself some simple questions. Who is

benefiting from this action or behavior? Who is being gratified or

glorified by this action ? And how stressed am I about doing it? It's

one thing to honor your commitments .It's another to over commit

out of pretense , coercion , or guilt.



Simple as these examples may appear, but self-abandonment is unhealthy and tends to always increase our anxiety and stress levels.


Here are some simple and yet meaningful ways where you can refrain yourself from self - abandonment.

  1. Say what you mean, It's okay to say no and mean it.

  2. Assess whether the activity you are engaged in is helping or hurting you. Make a list , if your list includes like ignored, wasted , empty , insecure , worried , reevaluate your role in the situation. Make changes when needed , so that whatever you decide you are honoring God and yourself.

  3. Believe in yourself, we are all a bundle of strengths and weaknesses. Capitalize on your strengths and work on your weaknesses . You can achieve great things when you trust God to be with you. I can do all things through Christ that gives me strength ( Phil 4:13)


So don't give and never abandon yourself.