The Holiday Season Can Feel Like a Lot: Let’s Talk About It

If we’re being honest, this time of year hits differently for everyone. For some, it can be a cozy time with its lights, traditions, familiar music. For others, it can be a reminder of loss, complicated family dynamics, stressful schedules, or the pressure to “end the year strong.” However, you arrive at this season, you’re not alone. Think of this as a conversation with a friend who understands that holidays can be beautiful and overwhelming at the same time. In our practice, we see the full spectrum, and we want you to know: your version of the holidays is valid.

1.   Understanding Holiday Stress: Why This Time of Year Feels Heavier

The holiday season often brings competing emotional experiences. Joy and stress. Gratitude

and grief. Excitement and exhaustion. As therapists, we often see increases in:

• Social stressors: more invitations, more pressure, more decisions.

• Financial strain: gifts, travel, entertaining, and the invisible cost of “keeping up.”

• Family dynamics: old roles, unresolved tensions, or triggering patterns resurfacing.

• Expectation fatigue: the feeling that you should be happier, calmer, or more “together” than you are.

Being aware of these emotions is the first step to navigating it with compassion.

2. Boundaries: A Essential Holiday Tool

Setting boundaries isn’t about being grumpy or harsh, it’s about being honest about what you need and you are allowed to protect your energy.

A few ways to set gentle, firm boundaries:

Try a “soft no” when you need space:

• “Thank you for thinking of me! I won’t be able to make it this time.”

• “I’m keeping things simple this year.”

• “I need a quiet day in, but I’m sending love.”

Set time limits on gatherings:

You can decide ahead of time: I’ll stay for two hours, then head out.

Use proactive communication. Let family know what you are (and aren’t) available for:

• “I can come for dinner, but I won’t be staying overnight.”

• “I’m not discussing ___ this year. Thanks for respecting that.”

Boundaries create emotional safety—for you and your relationships.

3. Navigating Family Triggers and Old Patterns

Even the most mature adult can feel 12 years old again when stepping into old family dynamics.

Here’s how to soften those triggers:

Create a plan before family events.

• Practice deep breathing on your drive there.

• Choose a calming phrase like “I can handle this moment.”

• Identify an exit strategy if things become overwhelming.

Recognize that other people’s reactions aren’t your responsibility:

You can’t control anyone’s behavior—only your response.

Use the “Pause Technique”:

If someone says something hurtful or intrusive, pause.

Breathe.

Respond only when your nervous system feels steadier.

Small pauses prevent big emotional spirals.

4. Protecting Your Peace

Choose one habit each day:

• A short walk

• 3 minutes of belly breathing

• Journaling

• A warm shower or bath

• Mindful stretching

Small acts of care add up quickly during stressful seasons. Prioritize sleep and nutrition (the basics matter more than ever). The body has a harder time regulating emotions when overtired or undernourished.

Let joy be simple, not perfect. Joy doesn’t need to be Instagram-worthy.

It can be:

• A candle you love

• A quiet morning

• FaceTiming a friend

• Listening to music from childhood

5. It’s Okay Not to Love the Holidays

There is no “right” way to feel this time of year.

No emotional scorecard.

No universal standard of holiday cheer.

Some people are grieving.

Some are rebuilding.

Some are overwhelmed.

Some are quietly content.

Some are simply trying their best.

Whatever you’re carrying into this season acknowledge it with kindness. 

6. When to Seek Extra Support

If holiday stress feels unmanageable, or if symptoms like anxiety, sadness, panic, irritability, or sleep disturbance increase, reaching out to a mental health professional can help. Therapy provides a grounded space to practice skills, understand triggers, and build resilience especially during emotional seasons.

Your Peace Matters

As the year comes to a close, we hope you give yourself permission to slow down, soften your expectations, and create a holiday season that aligns with your emotional needs—not external pressure. Here's hoping you feel a sense of peace, calm, connections, and God's love this holiday season"